I used to let my stubbornness steal my peace. If there was something I wanted, I was hellbent on making it happen, no matter what the cost. I felt like no matter what,, I was determined to win. As a result I caused myself a lot of stress, frustration, and, it often cost me my peace, but back then I was hard pressed to find peace, so I just took it as the price to pay for what I wanted. I also let relationships steal my peace. I would give them too much power in my life, placing too much importance on having certain ones or maintaining the ones I had. My life was always a power struggle, between what I wanted and the reality of what was actually going on. I was never at peace.
When I stepped on this path I was told that my peace was more important than any of those things. That my mental health and well-being rested in the balance of me allowing life to do what it does and to find peace in it. Not to be a push-over or not go after the things I wanted in life, but to not let it rule my life, and go after it at all costs. The cost was too high if it meant sacrificing my peace. That was my measuring stick of when to stand back. When I felt my anxiety creep up, when I got restless and defiant, maybe even angry, I knew whatever it was I was going after had just become too expensive and I needed to take a step back. It was a change in thought, an overhaul for me, to not throw myself under the bus to attain something I wanted. I had little regard for my own self back then, and even relished in the pain and suffering at times, that I would never back down no matter how difficult it got. That behavior kept me from ever thinking or finding self-love and self-care, in fact, back then I would have told you, succeeding in what I wanted was self-care, even while I was beating myself to the ground.
I am grateful to have found a better way, a gentler way, that is true self-love and self-care, and I no longer feel the need to force things into being right when they may not be, or having to prove I am right. The test is always the same today, if it is costing me my peace, it’s too expensive. But, also knowing the difference between feeling a little uncomfortable, and perhaps out of my comfort zone, and my peace being threatened. It’s not about resting on my laurels and just waiting for life to unfold without taking action, I am still responsible to do the work, but not forcing something into being just because I want it to be, looking for the signs of where to work harder, or where to back off and maybe try a new avenue, always keeping my mind and heart open to new ideas, and, continue saying yes to new things.
We all have been guilty of wanting something so badly we’ve let it rob us of our peace. Stop giving away one of the most valuable assets to your happiness, your peace. Raise the value of your peace above the value you put on those things you want, nothing is worth giving away what you cannot buy or replace. Peace is the word! SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you sacrifice your own peace for other things? What things do you let get in front of your peace? Why? What is the result of that? How does that hurt you? How often do you do it? Why do you continue to do it? What can you do to preserve your peace? What do you think will be the result of putting your peace first? How will this help you? What can you do today to find and protect your peace? Nothing is worth your peace SLAYER, protect it and yourself from having to be right, to win, or just wanting something at all costs, there is a cost that is too much, and it is your peace.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Series two of the things I've been learning quite quickly is here. Last time I wrote about not
getting worked up about the little things, using that age-old spilt milk metaphor. Today I have something to have a chat about peace, happiness, and when to stop trying too hard. Let's get going.
I saw this quote a little while ago and it hit me harder than I expected. The timing of discovering this advice could not have been better; I was investing my emotional energy in things that amount to nothing, stressing about ultimately-irrelevant work/uni matters, etc, etc, etc. Essentially, I had been giving up my peace, inner and outer, for things that did not deserve the time, turmoil or energy.
Why do I place myself in stressful situations? Why do I stay awake at night deliberating my decisions, wondering if I'm doing things the 'right' way? Am I avoiding the pursuit of my own happiness because it's not as secure or orthodox as I'd like?
These are a few things I've been asking myself pretty regularly. When I get stressed
and restless, it shows. People who know me will agree. I don't sleep well, I start biting my nails (a terrible habit), concentrating and patience goes out the window and I'll feel like a complete and utter mess. Sure I'm working lots of hours and getting a lot of errands done, but it sometimes comes at the cost of not being able to spend time with myself and sacrificing my peace. I'm quickly realising that I have needs that venture beyond work and tests, money and grades, and so do you. You have
these needs too and you also have things, people and places that make you feel at peace. Some of mine, the beach in the early morning sun and the pages of a novel I've never turned before ~ as well as having the time to read it. Yours might be being with your loved ones, sleeping in, honing your craft, going to your special place; the list goes on. These needs are what makes you feel whole. Peace and fulfilment go hand in hand. Recently, I've been wondering what I've been doing to contribute to
my sense of peace. I realised it was nothing. I've been getting worked up, pushing myself too far and too long without even stopping to consider what I've been missing. What I've been getting done looks really nice on paper but it doesn't actually contribute to anything personal. This brings me to the message of this life lesson and how applying it is paramount for you and me.
If it costs you your peace, it's too expensive.
Give up the things that cause you
stress. Give up the things that keep you up at night. Cultivate the things that make you actually happy. Enjoy the moments of peace that get scarcer and scarcer as we get older. Spend your time wisely, don't funnel all your cash into things that don't make you a richer and more content person because of it. I hate feeling stressed and worried so the logical explanation is to stop putting myself in these situations. Making a conscience decision to do so is extremely important, change your
priorities to suit what you really want. The stresses of life can wait. They can. You don't actually have to prioritise financial gain or work progression if those things do not make you feel happy. If what makes you happy is doing things that create memories that you'll look back on, do it! And just quickly I'm not saying that you should quit your job and become a nomad trekking New Zealand (unless you want to), but just adjust your perspective. Just don't put your personal happiness
aside to create that ideal life that isn't concurrent with what you want from your life. It's at way too high a cost.
I've been giving up my peace. I'm trying to take it back now. You should too.
more posts later.
e. x