Can you get herpes from kissing someone without an outbreak

Five Things You Should Know about Herpes

Can you get herpes from kissing someone without an outbreak
Emily Duberman, former ASHA staff and volunteer, answered many questions from the public about STIs in her time at ASHA, including many  questions about genital herpes. In this essay, Emily shares her thoughts on how to manage this common infection.

As most of my calls here at ASHA are about genital herpes, I thought I’d clear the air. TV shows, movies, and society as a whole create this stigma around herpes when really, there’s not too much to be scared of. Most of the time, genital herpes is a mild skin condition that can be managed very effectively.

  1. It is estimated that 1 out of 6 people have genital herpes. About 90% of them don’t know it.
  2. Herpes is passed through direct skin-to-skin contact with the infected area such as kissing, oral sex, genital-to-genital rubbing, vaginal, and anal sex. It’s a good idea not to share towels and sex toys that make direct contact with anal and genital skin during an outbreak, but we stress even this risk is not well-documented and thought to be an unlikely means of transmission. Transmission through other inanimate objects, like a utensil or razor, is highly unlikely but it may be best not to share lipsticks or glosses.
  3. Herpes (both oral & genital) can be spread even when there are no symptoms or sores. This is called asymptomatic shedding. Suppressive antiviral therapy significantly reduces asymptomatic shedding (and outbreaks). Valacyclovir taken daily can reduce risk of transmission to a partner by as much as 50%.
  4. Herpes is a very manageable skin condition and does not cause any damage to internal organs.
  5. People with herpes have very normal romantic and sexual relationships. After diagnosis, you may feel like your life may never be the same again but you will feel better soon. There are countless online communities and support groups for you with people who’ve been in your shoes.

Understanding Herpes with H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

Herpes expert H. Hunter Handsfield, MD, explains the basics about genital herpes, including the difference between genital HSV-1 and HSV-2 infection, testing options and the importance of knowing virus type, and the three-prong strategy for prevention. See more herpes videos at sexualhealthTV.com.

Have a question about herpes you’d like Dr. Handsfield or our other experts to answer? Visit our Ask the Experts page to learn how.

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  • Oral and genital herpes can be transmitted through direct skin-to-skin contact, and that includes kissing.
  • You can get herpes from someone even if they show no symptoms or visible sores.
  • While possible, it is highly unlikely for herpes to spread through objects like utensils, towels, or toilet seats.

When it comes to herpes transmission, it's important to get the facts straight. Understanding how this common sexually transmitted disease spreads can ensure you and others stay safe, and prompt you to get the right treatment to help manage the disease.

A person can contract herpes through direct contact, which means it is possible to become infected if you kiss a person that has the virus. 

Read on to learn more about how herpes spreads, the measures you can take to prevent transmission, and what to do if you are infected.

There are two kinds of herpes: HSV-1, or oral herpes, and HSV-2, or genital herpes. Both types can make cold sores and blisters pop up on or around the mouth, genitals, or rectum. 

According to the CDC, the intial stage of herpes infection is four days after exposure. Oral and genital herpes are  most contagious during this "outbreak" phase, whether or not the person is showing visible symptoms.

"Both oral herpes and genital herpes are transmitted by direct skin-to-skin contact and cause cold sores around the infected area," says Leena Nathan, MD, assistant clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at UCLA Health. "Historically, Type 1 has been associated with oral herpes, but nowadays we're seeing both types in both locations."

Can you get herpes from kissing? 

Since herpes is spread from skin-to-skin contact with infected areas or contact with saliva, you can get herpes from kissing.

This is because both types of herpes virus enter the body through tiny injuries in the skin or a mucous membrane, such as inside the mouth, genital, or anal areas. 

Though you're most likely to get oral or genital herpes from someone undergoing an outbreak, both types "spread by direct contact, and there does not always have to be a lesion," Nathan says. "There can be viral particles in sexual secretions."

How to prevent transmission

The only way to completely protect yourself from both types of herpes is to avoid skin-to-skin contact. While it is unlikely for herpes to spread through inanimate objects, keep in mind that herpes can spread through saliva, so it's best to avoid sharing things like toothbrushes and eating utensils. Other protective measures include:

  • Condom use during sex
  • Dental dam use during oral sex
  • Using a water-based lubricant during sex – oil-based lubricants can weaken latex

Symptoms of herpes 

While there are telltale signs of herpes simplex infection, many people are asymptomatic. In fact, in the US, an estimated 87.4% of 14 to 49-year-olds infected with genital herpes have never received a clinical diagnosis.

Signs of infection for both herpes simplex 1 and 2 are:

  • Flu-like symptoms such as swollen lymph nodes, body aches, or low-grade fever
  • Tingling or burning in the area before blisters appear
  • Pain during urination (for genital herpes)
  • Painful, fluid-filled sores – for oral herpes, they usually appear on the lips and around the mouth Genital herpes appears on the genitals, buttocks, or anus.

Diagnosis and treatment 

If you have contracted the herpes virus, when your symptoms show up and how long they last will depend on the type of herpes.

For example, after contracting genital herpes, it can take two to 12 days for symptoms to show, and outbreaks can last two to four weeks. Oral herpes outbreaks tend to last a week to 10 days. 

During an outbreak, herpes simplex can often be diagnosed just by looking at the sores. To confirm that a patient has herpes simplex, a doctor may take a swab from a sore. If no sores are visible, a blood test can confirm infection. While a blood test shows the exposure or presence of herpes infection, it cannot exactly confirm a current lesion is due to herpes. However, the blood test is an antibody test, so if you have ever been exposed or infected, the test will remain positive forever.

Herpes is what's called a chronic infection, meaning that once you contract the virus, you will never be rid of it. Put another way, there is no cure for herpes. 

However, you can manage symptoms and reduce the frequency and severity of outbreaks with certain medications.

Oral herpes and genital herpes can be treated with:

  • Antiviral oral medications, such as acyclovir, famciclovir, and valacyclovir

Oral herpes can also be treated with topical medications, such as:  

  • Antivirals like acyclovir and penciclovir
  • Over-the-counter ointments, like Abreva

There is also evidence that natural remedies may help with symptoms of both types of herpes. These include lysine, vitamin C, zinc, and vitamin E. 

Pregnant women with genital herpes also run the risk of transmitting it to their babies, which – while it is rare – can be deadly for infants. Those who are thinking of trying to get pregnant, or who are already pregnant, should discuss this with their doctors.

Insider's takeaway

Both oral and genital herpes are extremely contagious and spread from skin-to-skin contact. Though they can both spread through kissing, contracting genital herpes this way is rare. 

While herpes is a chronic condition, both symptoms and chances of transmission can be reduced with various treatments. 

"If someone has a sore that looks like herpes, avoid direct contact because that's probably the easiest way one would catch the virus," Nathan says. "If you suspect you have it, it is important to go see your doctor for diagnosis and treatment."

  • Herpes isn't curable, but you can manage it with certain medications
  • How to choose the right condom size and material to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STIs
  • 5 natural home remedies to get rid of cold sores fast
  • The difference between canker sores and cold sores and how to effectively treat them
  • These are the best, most effective ingredients you should look for in a moisturizer

Lindsay Kalter is a health freelance writer and contributor to Insider who has held positions with Politico, the Boston Herald, and the American Heart Association. Her work has appeared in publications including The Washington Post, Hour Detroit Magazine, The Dallas Morning News, and WebMD. She has covered topics from mental health and opioid use to cutting-edge medical research and the COVID-19 pandemic.

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How likely is it to get herpes from kissing?

Frequently Asked Questions. Can you kiss someone with herpes and not get it? Yes, you can kiss someone who has herpes simplex and never develop an active outbreak or test positive. However, because HSV-1 is so contagious, kissing someone with an active infection means it is very possible to contract the virus.

Can you pass on herpes without a flare up?

Genital herpes can be spread even when there are no visible ulcers or blisters. Being diagnosed with genital herpes can be an emotional and distressing experience, and it is important to speak with your health care provider about how to manage symptoms and avoid passing the virus to sexual partners.

Can you get herpes without someone having an outbreak?

Yes. Even when no sores are present, the herpes virus is still active in the body and can spread to others. If you or your partner has herpes, reduce the risk of spread by: using a condom every time you have sex (vaginal, oral, or anal).

Can herpes pass through saliva?

Transmission. HSV-1 is mainly transmitted via contact with the virus in sores, saliva or surfaces in or around the mouth. Less commonly, HSV-1 can be transmitted to the genital area through oral-genital contact to cause genital herpes.