Is it possible to not get herpes from an infected partner

Five Things You Should Know about Herpes

Is it possible to not get herpes from an infected partner
Emily Duberman, former ASHA staff and volunteer, answered many questions from the public about STIs in her time at ASHA, including many  questions about genital herpes. In this essay, Emily shares her thoughts on how to manage this common infection.

As most of my calls here at ASHA are about genital herpes, I thought I’d clear the air. TV shows, movies, and society as a whole create this stigma around herpes when really, there’s not too much to be scared of. Most of the time, genital herpes is a mild skin condition that can be managed very effectively.

  1. It is estimated that 1 out of 6 people have genital herpes. About 90% of them don’t know it.
  2. Herpes is passed through direct skin-to-skin contact with the infected area such as kissing, oral sex, genital-to-genital rubbing, vaginal, and anal sex. It’s a good idea not to share towels and sex toys that make direct contact with anal and genital skin during an outbreak, but we stress even this risk is not well-documented and thought to be an unlikely means of transmission. Transmission through other inanimate objects, like a utensil or razor, is highly unlikely but it may be best not to share lipsticks or glosses.
  3. Herpes (both oral & genital) can be spread even when there are no symptoms or sores. This is called asymptomatic shedding. Suppressive antiviral therapy significantly reduces asymptomatic shedding (and outbreaks). Valacyclovir taken daily can reduce risk of transmission to a partner by as much as 50%.
  4. Herpes is a very manageable skin condition and does not cause any damage to internal organs.
  5. People with herpes have very normal romantic and sexual relationships. After diagnosis, you may feel like your life may never be the same again but you will feel better soon. There are countless online communities and support groups for you with people who’ve been in your shoes.

Understanding Herpes with H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

Herpes expert H. Hunter Handsfield, MD, explains the basics about genital herpes, including the difference between genital HSV-1 and HSV-2 infection, testing options and the importance of knowing virus type, and the three-prong strategy for prevention. See more herpes videos at sexualhealthTV.com.

Have a question about herpes you’d like Dr. Handsfield or our other experts to answer? Visit our Ask the Experts page to learn how.

Herpes: Fast Facts

A brief overview answering common questions about herpes—how common it is, symptoms, testing, treatment, and more.

Sex and Relationships

Many people confuse love, commitment, and sex, or assume the three always go hand-in-hand. Sexual relationships work best when everybody is clear about what they want.

Herpes Signs and Symptoms

Learn the signs and symptoms of a first episode and what to expect with recurrences.

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  • Three ways to protect your partner
  • Partner protection in the two herpes stages
  • Important herpes facts
  • Conclusion

Protecting your partner if you have herpes (3 proven methods)

Is it possible to not get herpes from an infected partner

People respond in different ways to a herpes diagnosis. Initial responses range from considering it a minor matter (a condition that most people have) to feeling such distress that it’s a blow to the person’s self-esteem (”What am I going to do now?”). Regardless of their initial response, though, people begin to accept the diagnosis as time passes and they learn about herpes and how to cope with it.

One question troubles people the most: “How can I protect my partner?” The overwhelming majority of people are ethical and want to minimize the risk of transmitting the infection.

In this article, we will give advice about how to protect your partner.

Reducing your risk of transmitting herpes boils down to three things:

  • Taking antiviral medication
  • Using condoms
  • Talking to your partner about herpes

After your herpes diagnosis, you’ll always be in one of the two herpes stages:

  • Having an outbreak
  • Not having an outbreak

We’ll explain the best ways of protecting your partner during each stage.

These recommendations apply to all types of sexual contact: oral, vaginal, and anal.

Let’s begin!

YouTube video by expert STD doctor (Dr.Slava Fuzayloff)

More about the 3 ways to protect your partner

Antiviral medication

Antiviral medication reduces the risk of herpes transmission by 50% (from 10.2% to 5%). It will reduce “silent” (asymptomatic) viral shedding as well as the frequency of herpes outbreaks.

Different medication options and regimens are available (discussing them is beyond the scope of this article), with the most common being Valtrex 500 mg once a day. Herpes medication is safe and well tolerated by most people.

Condoms

Condoms have been proven to reduce the risk of herpes transmission by 50% (from 10.2% to 4%).

“Condoms …..reduce the risk of herpes transmission by 50%...”

Shedding of the herpes virus usually occurs through the soft mucosal areas of penile skin, the vagina, and the anus. Therefore, those areas need to be covered during sex.

Using a dental dam and plastic wrap is advised for lesbians. This provides the same risk reduction as condoms, 50%.

Talking to your partner

Talking to your partner about your herpes condition helps to develop trust, improves the relationship, and makes regular use of condoms more likely.

When you talk to your partner, you’ll find out if they’re one of the people who understand the risk of getting herpes and are OK with it or if they’re in the group of people who want the most protection possible.

You should ask your partner to get tested for herpes. Most people have never been tested for herpes because this isn’t a routinely ordered test even if a “full STD panel” is requested.

A type-specific (IgG) herpes test is necessary. If your partner is positive for the same virus type, you won’t need to use protection.

Partner protection in the two herpes stages

During outbreaks

Herpes outbreak are uncommon. Moreover, the number of outbreaks goes down over time.

The chance of passing the infection during an outbreak is 20.1%.

When the virus spreads the most

A person is most infectious for a few days before an outbreak (the prodrome period), during an outbreak, and for a few days after an outbreak resolves.

“…..Person is the most infectious…. few days before an outbreak ….,

during and for a few days after an outbreak….”


  • The prodrome symptoms to watch for are fatigue, tingling of the skin, and a patch on the skin.
  • The signs and symptoms of an outbreak are fever, a blister, an open sore, and a crusted sore.
  • Two or three days after the crust is gone and the skin has healed, the chance of transmission will be less.

During outbreaks, you should avoid sexual contact

It’s best to not have sex during an outbreak

  • There is a high chance of passing the herpes infection to your partner with skin-to-skin contact in the area of the outbreak and surrounding areas (the area that is infectious is bigger than the outbreak)
  • Additionally, your partner is at greater risk of contracting any other STDs you’re positive for through herpes-damaged skin

Low-risk sexual contact

Some people find it difficult to not have sex at all during an outbreak, so it’s important to know what types of intimacy are considered safest.

  • Masturbation or fantasy
  • No skin-to-skin contact is safe during an outbreak, but touching with the hands is considered the least unsafe

The role of antiviral medication

  • Antiviral medication will shorten the duration of the outbreak and reduce shedding of the virus from the skin.

Between outbreaks

Most of the time, people with herpes are symptom free. Unfortunately, though, herpes can still be transmitted even when there are no visible symptoms or signs of it. The chance of passing herpes during the asymptomatic period is 10.2%.

When silent virus shedding happens, why it happens, and what triggers it are beyond the scope of this article.

The following methods of protecting your partner from herpes between outbreaks apply to oral, vaginal, and anal sex.

Antiviral medication

Once-a-day antiviral medication will reduce the chance of herpes transmission by 50% (from 10.2% to 5%).

Condoms

Condoms are good protection against herpes. Consistent use of condoms reduces the transmission rate by 50% (from 10.2% to 4%).

Talking to your partner about herpes

Talking to your partner will help them understand the condition better and make regular condom use more likely.

Some important facts affecting the risk of herpes transmission

  • Herpes is transmitted through skin-to-skin contact
  • The first outbreak is the most contagious
  • There is a greater statistical chance of passing herpes when you’ve been recently diagnosed whether you have symptoms or not
  • Herpes infects skin areas that are thin and moist because it’s easier for the virus to penetrate those areas. For that reason, females are three times more likely to be infected than males
  • Younger people having casual sex are more likely to contract herpes
  • HSV-1 in the genital area recurs less often than HSV-2
  • Being positive for HSV-2 gives some protection against getting HSV-1. The opposite is not true
  • If a person with one type of herpes acquires a different type, the flare-up symptoms are milder
  • Lesbians get HSV-1 in the genital area because of oral–genital sex
  • Sex toys should not be shared. But if they are shared, they should be cleaned with water and soap before being used

Conclusion

Herpes is extremely common. In fact, millions of people in the United States have it—and they’re living normal lives and having healthy and satisfying sexual relationships. This article has discussed the three proven ways to greatly reduce the risk of transmitting herpes to your partner: medications, condom use, and open communication. If you’ve been diagnosed with herpes, by all means, use these strategies to protect your uninfected partner as much as possible. Educate yourself about the condition. At the same time, relax: herpes is not the end of your sex life.

YouTube video by expert STD doctor (Dr.Slava Fuzayloff)


Can your partner have herpes and you not get it?

Additionally, herpes does not transmit 100% of the time. It's possible to have a long-term partner who has herpes and to never get the infection. If your partner does not have herpes, there are some things for you both to know to move forward.

What are the chances of getting herpes from an infected partner?

One study examined rates of genital herpes transmission in heterosexual couples when only one partner was initially infected [1]. Over one year, the virus was transmitted to the other partner in 10 percent of couples. In 70 percent of cases, infection occurred at a time when there were no symptoms.

Can you be exposed to herpes outbreak and not get it?

Outbreaks are usually recurrent, but the severity and frequency decrease with time. Everyone who is exposed to the virus does not develop sores, but may still shed virus and expose others through contact with the infected area even if sores are not present.

Is it possible to not transmit herpes?

Herpes viruses are most likely to be transmitted during an outbreak, so it's better to not have sex during this time. Herpes can also be passed on to others in symptom-free phases, though. This risk can be reduced considerably by using condoms.